The Lord’s Prayer

Just a reminder, I feel that America need to remember this!

Our Father which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil:
For thine is the kingdom,
And the power, and the glory, for ever.

Amen.

Matthew 6:9b-13 KJV

Sheriff Joe Arpaio (One Tough Cookie)

You all  remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona, who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb. Well…

SHERIFF  JOE IS AT IT AGAIN!

Oh, there’s MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!

Maricopa County was spending approximately $18 million dollars ayear on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.

The  animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who’d like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.

The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78. The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.

I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.

Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote. Now he’s in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn’t doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He’s kind of a ‘Git-R Dun’ kind of Sheriff.

TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ‘ Tent City Jail’: He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but ‘G’ movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn’t Get Sued For Discrimination.

He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.

When asked why the weather channel He Replied, So They Will Know How Hot It’s Gonna Be While They Are Working ON My Chain Gangs.

He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional Value.

When the inmates complained, he told them, ‘This Isn’t The Ritz/Carlton… If You Don’t Like It, Don’t Come Back.’

He bought Newt Gingrich’s lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.

When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

More On The Arizona Sheriff:

With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports: About 2,000 Inmates Living In A Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued Pink Boxer Shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 Degrees Inside The Week Before.

Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down To Their PINK SOCKS.

‘It Feels  Like We Are In A Furnace,’ Said James Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for 1 year. ‘It’s Inhumane.’

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: ‘It’s 120 Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle Gear, But They Didn’t Commit Any Crimes, So Shut Your Mouths!’

Way To Go, Sheriff!

Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it’s time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can’t afford to have for themselves.

Sheriff Joe was just reelected Sheriff in Maricopa County, Arizona

(I am not sure who the original author is of this write up. I recieved it in an email)

Sarah Palin The VP We Need

What other 44 year old woman in politics can feild dress a moose?

McCain, I think, made a good choice! Finally someone worth looking at in a race for the office! And who cares if she doesn’t know who the president of Kazakhstan is, Do you? (It’s Nursultan Äbishuly Nazarbayev BTW, Thanks Google)

Born Feb. 11, 1964 Sarah Louise Heath in Sandpoint, Idaho. Family moved to Alaska when she was an infant. And get this she can HUNT! Moose at that! She attended Wasilla High School in Wasilla, Alaska where she eventually ran for city council. In 1984 she won the Miss Wasilla Beauty contest and came in second in the Miss Alaska Pageant.

Other notable NON Politic Stats - She played Point Gaurd for her High School Basketball team, Member of the FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) was a sports reporter for KTUU-TV in Anchorage, Alaska.

So let’s recap just a bit!! Beauty Pageant, Sports, Hunting and oh yeah work with her husband as a commericial fisherman! Damn what a woman!

Her Political career started in Wasilla where she ran and won a seat on City Council in 1992 and served two terms (1992-1996). In 1996 she won the position of Mayor and stood on the fact she was a member of the NRA (National Rifle Association).  In 2006 she was elected as Governor of Alaska.

She also followed through on a campaign promise to sell the Westwind II jet purchased (on a state government credit account, against the wishes of the Legislature) by the Murkowski administration for $2.7 million in 2005. In August 2007, the jet was sold on eBay for $2.1 million!

We also found this photo which the AP says was given to them by the Palin family!

This is a photo of Sarah in her college dorm.

here is a close up of the shirt!

And incase you still can’t read that, it says:

“I may be broke but, I’m not flat busted.”

I personally was going to vote for McCain anyway, but now with this Hockey Mom who Hunts, fishes and likes sports and sexy too as his VP of choice, Count on it!

Cell Phone Text Messages #6

The latest installment! (It’s a big one this time!)

If you are easily offended PLEASE STOP READING NOW and get off my page!! Some jokes are racist and some are sexist! I am neither! So please DO NOT send me any hate mail! This is merely a collection of Text messages that float around everyday!

1. Due 2 flood warnings the govt is evacuating all SEXY people 2 higher ground. I’m texting u 2 say goodbye.  Hope ur ass can swim!
2. Did I like fuck dumb another to it send retard a like this reading time ass sweet your took you since. (read it backwards)
3. They’re filming an underwater movie in New Orleans after Gustav moves through. Its called Finding Negro!
4. Boy in tub with mom ask whats that hairy thing down there? Mom says it my sponge. Son says The babysitter has one. I saw her wash daddys face with it!
5. Pussy is like a peach. It’s fat, full of juice, n if u go in deep enough u get a nut.
6. Say ADDICTED after everything I say… drugs… alcohol… sex… what hit u in the forehead last nite…?
7. Sex is like eating at KFC. Once your done nibbling on the breast and thigh, you have a greasy box to put ur bone in.
8. Sex is like muddin: u c the hole, u ease n2 it slo, and then u give it hell till u blo ur motor!
9. If you opened this you will get an unexpected long kiss on friday, but if u don’t send 2 8 ppl u will lose tha person fallin in love with you
10. Hug metil I hug you back. Trust me til I trust you back. Watch your front cause I got your back. Any real friends will get this back!
11. .**,   ,**.
12. * I love *
13. *. Ya  .*
14. “*,,*”  Pass this heart to all your friends. If 3 come back ur in for good news tonight.
15. I got 3 bitches. Bitch 1 cooks my food. Bitch 2 does my laundry & bitch 3 reads my texts. I see you’re doing your job!
16. Chinese man calls his boss, “Me no work, me sick.” Boss says “When Im sick I fuk my wife, try that.” 2 hrs later he calls back. “Me better, you got nice house.”
17. I miss sucking on it. I miss licking it. I miss slurping the wet sticky juices from it. DAMN IT! I wish I didnt drop my Popsicle!
18. Why does a prostitute make more profit than a drug dealer?…because she can rewash her crack and sell it again!
19. Rub it gently, lick it slow, do it hard. Don’t los the stroke! It might taste nasty, but dats how u close an envelope!
20. Do me a favor and text me right back..just say hi or anything. My friends dont think special ED kids can text. But youll show them fuckers, wont you lil buddy!
21. Driving in the rain is like having sex doggy style - One slip and you can fuck up someone’s rear end! So drive safe!
22. BREAKING NEWS!!!! Scientist bred a nigger & an octopus and ended up with a 8 row cotton picker that runs on fried chicken!
23. What does a black woman get 4 having an abortion? …A thank you card from welfare & a $200 check from crime stoppers!
24. Police r looking 4 a person that steals vibrators, swallows & loves it up the butt. What should I do? Should I tell them I haven’t seen you or wut?
25. **Daily Thought** Some people are like slinkies. They’re not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!
26. What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common? They both cause you to stand around for an hour for a two minute ride!
27. Whats the difference between your job and your wife? … After 5 yrs…you job still sucks!
28. How can you tell your woman is havin a bad day? …She has her tampon behind her ear and cant find her cigarette!
29. What better than roses on a piano?…Tulips on an organ!
30. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? …He forgot to wrap his Whopper!
31. Whats the difference between erotic and kinky? …Erotic is using a feather …Kinky is using the whole chicken!
32. U know ur moms mad at u when she says, “I shouldve swallowed ur little ass when I had the chance!”
33. REDNECK WORD OF THE DAY …Sodas… My wife gives good head but SODAS her sister!
34. Someone just called and said there’s a crazy person running down the street in shit stained underwear. Where the fuck are you at? Ill come pick you up!
35. Man says to his doctor, “I get an erection everytime I look in the mirror.” Doctor syas, “Makes sense to me, you look like a pussy.”
36. Dad cooks a deer & doesn’t tell the kids what it is, he gives on clue, its what your mom calls me! The boy yells it a fuckin dick dont eat it!
37. Have you heard about the new medication doctors are giving depressed lesbians? It’s called “Trydicagain”
38. :Question:..If a bitch with big titties works at Hooters…Shouldn’t a bitch with one leg work at Ihop?
39. I just made you open your phone for nuthin. Its great havin your ass in check. Whose my bitch? You’re my bitch …now close your damn phone!
40. Whats the difference between Like, Love and Show off? …Spit, swallow and garggle!

Cell Phone Text Messages #5

OK! I slacked off a bit and now my Cell Phone Inbox is FULL so I figure its time to get some new ones posted!

1. Who was the greatest prostitute in history? …Ms. PacMan, for 25 cents that bitch swallowed balls till she died!
2. Ever seen a retard wrapped in plastic? …Just look @ur drivers license!
3. Boy asked his mom “Is it wrong to have a willy?” “No why?” She replies. “Well dads sweating like fuck trying to pull it off!
4. I Heard you got robbed at gunpoint with two options: suck dick or give up ur phone. I see u still got ur phone!
5. Lets test the way u think! …EXAM: thepenisinhermouth. Did you read: The Pen Is In Her Mouth or did u read it wrong u pervert!
6. Whats the difference between a dead black guy on the side of the road and a dead deer on the side of the road? …The skid marks only lead up 2 the deer!
7. Why does miss piggy clean her pussy with honey & lemons? … Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork!!
8. If I had a rooster and u had a donkey, and ur donkey ate the feet off my rooster, would that mean u have 2 feet of my cock in your ass?
9. One jar of vaseline-$3. One box of Trojans-$5. Three gay porn dvds-$30. Making your parents think your brother is gay. -Priceless!!
10. 92% of all americans say “OH SHIT” before driving into a ditch. The other 8% are from Texas and we say “Hold my beer and watch this shit!”
11. What did the Alabama Sheriff call a black man who had been shot 15 times? …The worst case of suicide he  d ever seen!
12. The judge asked a prostitute, so when did you realize you had been raped? Wiping away the tears, she replied, when the check bounced!
13. Why does a prostitute make moire profit than a drug dealer? …because she can wash her crack and sell it again!
14. Roses r red. Nuts r brown. Skirts r up. Panties r down. Body 2 body, skin 2 skin. When its stiff, stick it in! Now thats a fuckin love poem!

As a special gift this time around I have the number to the Psychiatric Hotline for you to call! and believe me it will make you laugh. Pass the number around to your friends!

• 603-413-4133
• 650-388-1117

Either number will work!

Keep watchin’ for more updates!

Can You Please SHUT UP!

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ‘ I clocked You at 80 miles per hour, sir.’

The driver says, ‘Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.’

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: ‘Now don’t be silly dear,y You know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.’

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife  and growls, ‘Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?’

The wife smiles demurely and says, ‘You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.’

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, ‘Woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?’

The officer frowns and says, ‘And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.’

The driver says, ‘Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.’

The wife says, ‘Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.’

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, ‘WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??’

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, ‘Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?’

(I love this part……………….

‘Only when he’s been drinking.’

Cell Phone Text Messages #4

The latest installment of Joke for the Cell Phone!

1. NOTICE: Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil - the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off!
2. What do you get when a lesbian couple is on the rag? . . . Finger Painting!
3. A blond called 911 to report a fire. The lady asked, “how do we get there?” The blond said, “DUH, The big red truck!”
4. According 2 recent studies, the Blow Job is the healthiest breakfast.. Because it cums w/a sausage, 2 nuts & a protein shake.. Stay Healthy!
5. Lincoln is on the 5 bill, Franklin is on the 100 bill, but I bet if Obama becomes president they will put his black ass on food stamps!
6. Why is it when black people wear their pants below their waist it called “saggin”? . . . Spell it Backwards!
7. Sex is like math: …U add the bed ..subtract the clothes ..divide the legs ..leave your solution ..and pray you don’t multiply!
8. if U have 10 fish and 5 of them drown, but 2 come back to life, how many fish do you have? ..Stop counting u dumbass, fish cant drown!
9. If you sent me chain txts or other promises, NONE of that shit worked! From now on please send money, vodka, weed or a damn gas card!
10. Why are hunters better at sex? …They go deeper into the bush, aim right, shoot more than twice and still eat it afterwards!
11. Why does Laura Bush always get on top? ..Because George W. can only fuck up!
12. A man is dying of CANCER & his son ask, Dad, why do you keep telling people ur dying of AIDS? Dad replies, So when I die nobody fucks ur mom!
13. Why is it so hard to solve a redneck murder in Arkansas? ..Because all the DNA is the same & there are no dental records!

See the entire last at this link!

New Release Movies Online For Free

Thats right kiddos! You heard me right! Current New Release Movies for Free ONLINE!

Movies like:

• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
• Step Brothers
• The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor
• Wanted
• Felon
• Hancock
• Batman: The Dark Knight
• Hellboy II: The Golden Army
• Journey to the Center of the Earth
• The Incredible Hulk
• You Don’t Mess With The Zohan
• Bowling for Columbine
• Casino Royale
• Cloverfield
• Fantastic 4
• Flushed Away
• Grudge 2
• No Country For Old Men
• Semi-Pro
• Van Wilder 2

Just to name a few!

Where can you find them you ask!

Well There are two sites that we are aware of and as of this posting they are both up and running! But keep in mind it is copyright violation for these sites to show these so they may get shut down at any time but for know watch all you can!

Before I tell you where let me explain what they show. Some of the movies are films of the film. Meaning someone snuck a camcorder into the theater and filmed the movie on video. These are OK considering that you are not paying to watch it. Some of them are DVD screeners. WTF is that you ask? A DVD Screener is a DVD version of the movie that is sent to award judges and critics for review. The other type of film you will find on these sites and The overseas releases. These usually have subtitles in that countries language though the dialog is in English, in most cases.

OK suspense is over! Here are the two links you have been waiting so patiently for!

Movie6.net

Movies on Demand

Enjoy the show and DOWN IN FRONT!

Zodiac Signs and Personalities

Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs and their related personalities. Keep in mind, if you are on the cusp of another sign, within 5 days, you most likely will have features of both signs. This may, in some cases, lead to total confusion in your life.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious.  Tends to be  Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they Want.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative.  May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don’t like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19) Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous.  Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge.  EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse.  (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored.  Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts.  Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips.  May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.

CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22) Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative.  Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22) Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything.  Bossy. Like to help  Others. Social and outgoing.  Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22) Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word.  Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can’t make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily.  Procrastinators . Very gullible.

SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges.  Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships.  Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21) Good-natured optimist. Doesn’t want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn’t like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn’t like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn’t like being doubted.  Beautiful inside and out.

Two by Two

This was an eMail I got and sounded cool so I forwarded it and also decided to post it here!

Try it out!

Two Names You Go By:
1. Don
2. Haney

Two Things you are wearing right now:
1. Shorts
2. …

Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. A Nikon D40 Digital SLR Camera!!!!!
2. The E2 Admin position at work

Two People Who Will Fill This Out (And The First To Send It back):
1. Mom (but she sent it to me)
2. April

Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. Watched Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
2. Played some games on MySpace

Two Things You Ate Yesterday:
1. Chicken Nuggets (Home Made not Mickie D’s)
2. Mashed Potatoes

Two People You Talked To Today:
1.  James
2.  April

Two Things You’re Doing Tomorrow:
1. Fixing my computer (I Hope!)
2. If #1 gets done….Updating my Web Site (www.texasreddirt.net) It is bad out of date!

Two Longest Car Rides:
1.  Houston, TX to Seattle, WA (2439 miles)
2.  Houston, TX to Gorham, NH (2008 miles)

Your Two Favorite Holidays:
1.  Christmas
2.  July 4th

Favorite Vacations:
1.  Done - Mesa Verde, Co
2.  Want - See Vietnam

Two Favorite Beverages:
1.   Coca Cola (Coke Classic)
2.   Sweet Iced Tea

And please do not spoil the fun…

Copy & Paste it, delete my answers and type in your answers.
Then post it on your blog!